Give Me 10 minutes, I’ll give You the truth about teenage contraception and sex education.
I’m writing this for teenagers and parents of teenagers.
In West African cultures, the open and frank discussion of sex by young children and teenagers with parents is a near taboo.
However, take a couple of minutes to watch the video attached to this blog:
Now that you have watched the clip; what if that was you – in the shoes of either of those girls?
Or if you happened to be the Mum or Dad for either of them?
Today I’d like to role-play.
First, I’ll take on the role of the ‘loving’ parents and then, the ‘knowledgeable’ kids.
Parents’ view on contraception in their children.
Here there are generally 2 widely different opinions.
Never-Doers: In the first group are those who cannot imagine their children having intercourse, talk less of knowing about sex or contraception and use of any form of contraception outside marriage.
It is ‘taboo’! There is also religious and cultural undertone to this.
Culturally, a young woman who gets pregnant before marriage is considered to have brought shame/dishonour to the family name.
Where religious belief underpins guiding principle, it is the parent’s religious belief that holds for abstinence before marriage and not doing so is a sin against God.
In this group of parents, some may find it hard to reconcile the belief that sexual health education is important to promote health and wellbeing and guidance in making the right decisions that can save lives.
How, I wonder, these people expect or believe their children can co-exist with others in this world while living in a bubble of their own making - without some unforeseen outcome, I am not very sure.
By this, please realise I do not suggest that every teenager should be gifted with contraceptive methods just wily-nily.
It is simply to highlight the need to be aware of sexual health and education from the most reasonable earliest period in a young person's life that will allow them make wise decisions at crucial times.
In the second group of parents, we have people who consider the individuality of their child and will willingly have open discussions about these ‘taboo’ topics but perhaps they do not have sufficient information to guide them.
These parents know that when their children leave the home, they are exposed to influences which may cause them to take decisions contrary to what they may have taught at home.
Essentially, parents in each group have one thing in common – a desire to keep their children safe.
This includes safety from unwanted pregnancy and sexually transmitted disease both of which are preventable with the right choices.
How can they achieve this?
According to the World Bank data for adolescent women (i.e. age 15-19 years); in 2015, fertility rates in Nigeria were 109 (Ghana 66; and United Kingdom 14).
For low and medium income countries, the rate is 45-48, so Nigeria ranks quite high in having a significant number of women who deliver live children at this age (109 out of 1000).
Cue the attitude of young people.
For the sake of this discussion, let’s look at the group of people in the age 13-17 years (Although, in some societies, frighteningly, sexual maturity can be as early as 10 or 11 years).
Here’s a recent article on the subject that may interest you.
Many of these teenagers have opinions that are coloured by their peer associations, their school and of course their access to social interactions like televisions, films, books, magazines etc.
For young people in the Western African settings, the first discussion about sex and differences between men and women tends to be held in whispered, covert settings where ‘being caught’ is a possible danger.
It is healthier for young persons to escape hidden sexual relationships that lead to an unwanted pregnancy (plus associated complications), infection or other complications like emotional or psychological abuse.
Even in western and so called ‘developed’ civilisations, young and vulnerable people are still prone to harm from sexual predators that thrive on hiding relationships from parents or carers of their victims.
‘Most parents feel uncomfortable talking about sex with their teenagers.
Sexuality is a sensitive and difficult subject, and many parents lack adequate role models for educating and socializing their children about sex.
Parents' discomfort with discussing sex may stem partly from a lack of relevant information.
If you are a parent, what did you tell your teenage son or daughter about sex, contraception, and pregnancy?
Or how do you plan to tackle this sensitive area at the right time?
Oh, and when is the right time?
How would you feel if your sixteen year old daughter came home and said she is pregnant? Honestly?
Would you first be grateful she could tell you; rather than hiding it from you and seeking help from elsewhere to terminate the pregnancy?
Because that is a very serious risk; and in many low and middle income countries, access to safe abortion clinics is very low and deaths are a sad and ugly, still frequent outcome.
Why not talk about sex and contraception?
Think about this:
“When properly prescribed for the individual, (contraceptive) pills are safer than pregnancy and delivery.”
Many women have healthy pregnancies and proceed to have safe deliveries. A significant number, however can develop complications in the pregnancy journey, to the onset of labour and afterwards.
For up to 6 weeks after birth, a woman is still at risk of a serious illness that can be attributed to her pregnancy.
And that’s where this interesting video comes in – here we have a good nurse who decides she has best served these teenage girls by shaming them out of the clinic after they managed to seek help.
It’s only a thought but the useful consultation she could have had by listening to those girls may have contributed to saving their lives by preventing unwanted pregnancy, or other illness.
Threatening to report to their parents satisfies her moral compass but what of her duties as a health care provider?
The video highlights the problems we have with young people seeking help with family planning.
As a Health Care Worker myself, the most painful part of the video is seeing that after overcoming ignorance, gathering courage and seeking enlightenment, they are turned away by the very person who has the solution in their hands.
This may have been a chance for the nurse to obtain a good history and elicit if this girl is being pressured or groomed into sex before she is ready.
This may have been the chance to be a listening ear and accessible guide for a young lady unsure of what to do and who to ask in respect of sexual matters.
I’d love to hear your thoughts.
In the meantime:
First - talk to your child about sexuality. Here’s a good place to start.
Continue to encourage abstinence as best practice regardless of peer pressures until they are ready for a stable relationship.
Talk about contraception. Yes. Explain what it is and why you feel or do not feel it is appropriate for your child. The days of beating them out of the house as some people had when growing up should be long past.
Relate with your child. Open door policy. No taboo subjects. If they can’t discuss it at home then where? Mostly don’t let them feel that dying in a dingy room after an inadequately performed termination is a better option than coming to you if they fall into a problem - because you may not know where their efforts to self-solve that problem could lead.
I bet you can come up with a few more tips for me and other readers – do share.
Till then, Stay Well!
Editing by AskAwayHealth Team Disclaimer All AskAwayHealth articles are written by practising Medical Practitioners on a wide range of health care conditions to provide evidence based guidance and to help promote quality health care. The advice in our material is not meant to replace management of your specific condition by a qualified health care practitioner. To discuss your condition, please contact a health practitioner or reach us directly through info@askawayhealth.org
